How it all Started

Our Journey to the Bhagavad Gita 🙏💐 — How It All Started 🌺🌸🌼

 

 Well, Ram and I never planned a spiritual journey.

Honestly,it came to us quietly, slowly, softly — like the first light of sunrise touching your face. 😊

Now ,every Tuesday, we walk to the Hanuman mandir. We fast. 🙏🌺🌼🌸We pray. 🙏

And then, we go to a simple sattvic South Indian joint in Bangalore .

you know, every Tuesday, Ram finds a new place for us to try. Warm idlis, dosas, chutney, and filter coffee. And till now we’ve explored 60+ joints in Bangalore. We really look forward to it.  🤗

Ram and I share a deep passion for food and we love to explore. We both love cooking and we can talk about food and our fur babies for hours...

and honestly!! people may think we are weirdos … ha he ..😁😁😅

Lately, Ram has started learning more cooking, and he truly loves it. He spends time in the kitchen, trying new recipes, learning patiently.

And yes! he’s nailed quite a few already. (Dherai nai Metho huncha) Yum yum…😋 And you know what?Watching him cook with so much care — that quiet focus, that joy when we both taste something he made — it fills our home with warmth.🤗❤️

And ooour ‘Keta’ haru 🐾🐾 are always part of it. They sit near the kitchen, tails wagging, noses sniffing, waiting for their little share. And yes!😂Othenan is our best food critic. 😁 We laugh at their hopeful eyes… and our late Ruffu ❤️ used to do the same. Yeah!!🥲

 

So,cooking, eating, talking about our babies… this is how we spend our days. It’s simple, it’s silly, it’s us. 

And honestly, in these ordinary moments — stirring, tasting, laughing with our dogs at our feet — in caring for our boys🐾 together, we healed.🥰

Well, we come from two different worlds.

See, Ram is fauji through and through. 

From childhood, he lived in military hostels, far from home.

At seventeen, he wore the NDA uniform. The military didn’t just train him — it raised him.

It gave him strength, pride. 

Really , you can see it in how he stands, how he carries himself.🤗 

He is well-read, sharp in history and warfare. 

But you know, he’s not the most rigidly disciplined person nor ambitious. Still, he’s a healthy competitor, he loves the challenges. 

And whatever work he takes up, he does it thoroughly.

No shortcuts.😷😬😅 

And yeah! he has a real gift with words. His writing is thoughtful, sharp, full of heart and mind.👌 

That’s his quiet power💪🏻💪🏻 

But , the world outside the cantonment gates… that world he barely knew. 😁😬 

Civilian life was new to him till retirement. He is not worldly wise in the way some people are. 

He doesn’t carry the tricks of the outside world. 

And that honesty…and that innocence… that’s also part of who he is. 

And I really respect it.

🙏❤️🤗

 

Now, I grew up beside the Army, not inside it. 

You see, my father, my uncle, my brothers, my grandfathers — all wore the uniform. 🙏 

But our home was in the civil world. I studied. I worked. I even lived abroad. My life was wide, fast, and loud in a different way than his.

So yes,two people. Two rhythms. Two lives. Two cultures… two languages… 

And yet, somehow, destiny wrote us into the same sentence.😊

 

Honestly,I never thought life would give me a second chance at a relationship.

I mean who can say what is written for us? 

See how destiny moves in silence. It breaks us, then binds us. 

It takes away, only to give back something deeper.

Maybe, we were meant to find each other after the storm — not before — so we’d know the worth of calm and peace.🫶🏻✌🏽

 

Yes, this is true…… Neither Ram nor I ever thought of breaking our marriage. God!knows it  wasn’t even in our worst dreams. But it happened. 

Really, there must be a reason and we don’t see yet. 

You see, everything is written. 

Our lives, our meetings, our partings — all Predestined. 

And honestly, I didn’t choose this pain. I was chosen by it. …

.…  So I could learn..  So I could rise. 

Because ,Sri Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita — what had to happen, happened for good. What is happening is happening for good. What will happen, will also be for the good. 

And I totally believe that now🙏 

Yes!! Every joy, every tear, every fear, every choice….. 

all written before I took my first breath……

 My path with Ram….

My pain, My struggles….

My scar I left in my loved ones… all yesss !!! all… Predestined. 

So, I bow to it. No blame. No bitterness. Only surrender.🙋‍♀️

 

(Sigh!!)….. Ending a marriage is the hardest choice I’ve ever made. 

In our Hindu culture, marriage is held as sacred. I respect that deeply 🙏 

We are taught to endure, that no matter what, you stay together and make it work. I believed that too. 🙏 

I lived by that for years and years.

But I reached a point where I could not carry the baggage anymore. Staying would have meant living a life that wasn’t true for me, or for anyone.

I know, To some, marriage means owning a person forever, like property, a deal, a lifelong possession or a silent agreement to endure at any cost. 

But I believe, strongly, marriage is a bond — a home built on love, trust, struggles, respect, acceptance and shared history of married life. 

Because , if the foundation cracks, a bond without joy is not SACRED … 

No, not at all..

it’s just surviving. 

And we live once, 

and we all .. I mean all…. deserve peace and happiness. 

So , I released him… 

Yes… I know! I agree! My decision hurt both families, my chora (son) Shashank most of all. And God knows🙏 

I never wanted to cause him pain. But continuing a false relationship would have taught him the wrong meaning of love and commitment. 

So I chose the harder path — to step away, to be honest, to give both of us a chance at real peace. 

I have done my dharam and karam to my son, my in-laws, and my family. Now I am choosing to live honestly. I want to live mine without masks. 

And , I walk now with no bitterness, only gratitude for the lessons, for the love I received, for the woman this journey made me. 

But I won’t lie!!…Even today, this moment, my heart aches when I think of the pain my decision caused to my son, my loved ones.. they had to walk it because of me. 

That ache is real….

Yet, I hold onto one truth: the scar I gave them, I carry it too. I Hope with time they can let it go.. I pray they find the strength to let it go 🙏🙏🙏

Well, Kismat… karma… destiny… reason… I still don’t know what to call it. 

Sometimes when I sit alone and my heart fills with wonder… and with ache. How did I get here? I never wished ill on anyone. Never plotted, never hurt anyone knowingly. My hands were always open for families and friends, always holding families together, to be there for friends always.

And yet, life handed me the kind of pain that makes you question everything. 

For a long time, I asked my Shiv Baba,🙏 “Why me?”  But then I remind myself.. it’s okay. This shall too pass…

Yes, It shattered me. It left me on my knees.

But it didn’t finish me. Today I stand .. not bitter, 

but better. 

Not broken but blessed with understanding. 

You see , the victory isn’t over anyone. It’s over my own fear, my own wounds. And for that, I bow my head to My Shiv Baba.. and to myself 🤗😊 

They say , it’s all about the mind. And it’s true. …

Because of that mind I face yesterday with grace 👍😊❤️

 

Well, let’s move on to next ….. 

You see , we both came with old wounds. 

Ram carried pain from his past.

For years, he tried to silence it with alcohol. His earlier life was difficult .

Honestly , I won’t blame anyone.

Here ,who am I to judge??

Maybe their hearts or minds just didn’t match. Maybe it was the situation... or kismat, or it was meant to be. Whatever it was,

it left him bitter. 

Nevertheless, from that bitterness came a beautiful gift — his son, Shaurya. He is grown up now. Handsome boy. He is the light of Ram’s life. When Ram talks about him, his whole face changes. Pride, love, care🤗❤️ — all of it is there in his eyes.

Ram was there for every school day, every fever, every milestone.

And in every fall of his life. He gave his best as a father. A responsible, caring, full-hearted father. 

But Shaurya misunderstood him (sad) and stopped talking to him. What hurts me most is— it wasn’t always like this.

In the beginning ,Shaurya accepted his parents’ separation with quiet maturity. He had seen the tension at home, the fights between two people who just couldn’t be together. 

He would call Ram, visit him, share his small things. A son who knew his father’s heart.

 

But, in the last two years, something shifted. After Shaurya moved back home from Mumbai and started living there , the calls stopped. The messages from Ram are all unread. No reply. And yet, we know he is doing well. A good job, a life of his own. 

And it broke something quiet inside Ram. I have seen it. It hurts me too.

Although, I understand Shaurya. He is standing by his mother, and a son should. I have no complaint about that. No mother should be left alone.

But it hurts to see Ram’s love wait at a closed door. 

Yes, I know..Children suffer when families break. 

But suffering is not a reason to erase a father.

His father is in pain too. Shaurya is not doing good.He is hurting too.

I am so disappointed😞

So here is what I believe — for example Shashank or for Shaurya, for every parent, or every child… who finds themselves in this 🔥 fire… 

Be rational. Be neutral. Listen to both sides and talk, talk and talk openly… 

Disagreement, confusion, doubt, anger — don’t let them decide. Sit down. Speak. Listen … Because most wounds are just misunderstanding left unspoken. 

Don’t shut the door on your loved ones. 

So talk before you walk away. 

 

One more truth I’ve learned from life….I’ve seen this pain repeat in many homes ….. 

When parents fight, the child is forced to choose. 

When in-laws fight, a son is pulled from mother,  a husband from his wife. When siblings fight, families are split. 

Please understand…You cannot heal your wound by breaking someone else’s bond. These are Sacred. They are not ours to cut. 

To come between these relationships because of your own conflict — that is not love… That is a sin, that is not justice, that is against the Dharma. This is selfishness.

Really, feels so heavy. I wonder how to react in such circumstances… confused… 

And then the Bhagavad Gita gave us an answer that brought peace. 

You see , Lord Krishna teaches us: as parents, our dharma is to nurture, protect, and provide till the child becomes an adult. Till 18, we guide them. After that, they walk their own path. We cannot force them to talk to us, to love us back, or to take care of us. We can only be available — with open arms, no conditions, no demands. 

 

And Ram did his dharma. He gave Shaurya everything a father could. Now Shaurya is a man.

If he chooses distance, that is his karma to live. Ours is to hold him in our prayers, not in our grip. 

 

I tell Ram often, “You were a good father. That truth does not change because your son is silent now. One day, when he holds his own child, he will understand the weight you carried for him.”

 

Till then , we send him our blessings. Always. Our door, our heart — always open. But , we will not beg for love. Because that is not what Krishna teaches. Love that is forced is not love. (Beautiful 💐) 

Jai Sri Krishna 🙏

 

I, too, carried scars — deep ones. 

My marriage didn’t end in shouting. It ended in silence. Lies, one after another, until one day the whole truth came out and everything I believed in… collapsed. I couldn’t carry that weight anymore. 

My trust broke. My faith broke.  My respect broke.

And honestly, I don’t blame anyone. Perhaps that too was kismat. 

But, I do hold myself responsible for one thing: I gave trust, I gave space, I was too liberal, I didn’t ask the hard questions when I should have. That was my mistake. 

And ,I learned that we humans are easily drawn to the glitter of the world. 

So,This is to anyone listening or reading… If you are given trust , respect and space, meet it with gratitude and respect.

Don’t take it for Granted. 

Because, freedom misused turns into regret. 

And some doors, once closed, don’t open again.🙏 

Now I know, Freedom is tested by how we treat it.😊

 

And yet, in all this, God gave me my greatest gift — my world — my son, Shashank. Handsome, grown up, and full of love and care. Confident boy. Very mature.

 

I want to thank him from my heart ❤️ . When my world fell apart, he did not fall with me. He saw my pain, but he also saw my strength. He supported me, yet he never turned his back on his father. He kept good terms with him, called him, respected him. He balanced both sides with the wisdom of someone far beyond his age.

That is what a responsible, mature person does. He taught me that you can love both parents even when they are apart. 

Shashu, beta, your grace in that Storm gave me courage. Thank you. May God bless you always🤗❤️🙏

And you know,he and Ram share a beautiful bond. 🫶🏻🤗

He is my anchor.🤗

 

Now….Coming to Bangalore was like starting life again. 

New city. New home. New family. New faces. New roads. New rules. 

And I was no longer a young girl.

We both  already lived one whole life.

  I had already bent, struggled, adjusted, compromised. Even Ram.

We both have grown sons. 

Definitely,to begin again at this age… it takes something out of you…... it would from anyone.

 

So , when Ram and I faced problems, we both got scared. We didn’t fight each other — we fought our pasts. Our home became a battlefield of old wounds.🥲

 

Well, Ram kept drinking.

His past had taught him that women would hurt him. So he built walls. He became defensive, sensitive, quick to get irritated. 

He felt sometimes I disrespected him or was trying to bully him .

And I felt some of the times whatever I said, he heard it wrong.

After a while, I found myself hesitating, thinking twice before talking to him.

And I felt that old stuck feelings washed over me again. A familiar heaviness settled in Again.

“Oh God! Not again,”

I would whisper to myself.  I will not live this pain a second time. I will not suffer someone else’s weakness again.

Not again…….. No… No…”

Seeing Ram so emotionally fragile those days , I often wondered what kind of world he had lived in before. He was so apprehensive, with so little belief in himself. There was a quiet “don’t tell me” wall around him… and all his goodness was hidden. 

It was like waiting for someone to believe in him so he could believe in himself again. 

We were both exhausted. Both frustrated. Both disappointed.

But the drinking kept the fire burning. And many, many nights I lay awake thinking, I should leave. 

You see, stress , disheartened would come to me so fast in those days.

And with it, a quiet fear settled in. And slowly ,I began losing hope — that maybe I wasn’t meant to have a good life partner. First came the hurt of lies, then the pain of drinking problems — Both very heavy for any marriage….

I was tired ,I even wondered if the fault was me????? Was I the problem?

Ram deserved happiness too..

am I the reason he doesn’t have it??? I kept myself asking…??

 

But it wasn’t. …Sometimes life just asks us to wait longer for the right time 😊🤗

 

Two things held me back: 

My word to him — my commitment. My hope. 

Our children , our boys 🐾🐾🐾— Late Ruffu, Othenan, and Odin. 

They needed us. I could not break their home.

Let me tell you about our babies. They are our heartbeat. 🐾🐾🐾

Late Ruffu— our dark chocolate Labrador, 13 years and 8 months of love. He left us on 5th August 2024… on Ram’s birthday. This shows that he was Ram’s soul dog. 

Loyal, devoted. Ram was his whole world. When Ram walked out of his past life, he had only Ruffu and one suitcase. Ram was broken then, and Ruffu was hurting too, with hematomas. In Ram’s darkest days,Ruffu was his medicine. 

When I entered their life, Ruffu accepted me with a gentle heart. He stayed with me till his last breath. He was my companion when I felt alone in a new city.  Oh! Losing Ruffuu broke all of us. We couldn’t bear the grief at first. It got easier with time, but talking about him still brings tears. Wherever you are , my Tungnan, May God

hold you close. We miss you.My Ruffu Singh.🤗❤️

Othenan is our four-year-old Golden Retriever. We brought him from Siliguri, from my elder bhabi’s home. He was just 45 days old when we brought him home. A little ball of fur.. (cutie pie)😁😍❤️

He is 17 March born.

He and Ruffu were like grandfather and grandson. For nearly two years, they shared such beautiful love and bond. When Ruffu left, Othenan grieved. He refused food for ten days.

We couldn’t bear his loneliness. So on 3rd September 2024 we adopted Odin ❤️(adorable)— a rescued jet-black Lab-Indie mix. He came to us as a one-year-old baby, (6th march born)thin, frightened of everything. He had been beaten by his past owners. He didn’t even know how to sniff, how to walk properly, or where to do his potty. For nearly a month,we kept him safe inside the house. 

And again,Ram became his healer. With endless patience, Ram trained him — step by step, day by day. No stress, patiently, with love. Slowly, Odin came back to life. Today he is a confident, joyful boy with his tail always wagging. That transformation… all credit goes to Ram. He saved Odin the way Odin saved Othenan. 

Now, Othenan and Odin are brothers. Best friends. 

You know, All our three boys were trained by Ram. I am deeply grateful for his patience and skill. Kudos to him 👍

And honestly, the joy they give us… there are no words. It is pure, unconditional love. They are God’s most innocent creation.

Thank you God !!

for sending them into our life. 

You see ,people without dogs miss this joy🤩. 

Bu that’s their choice… we choose this love🤗❤️

 

So,time moved on.

And slowly time began to heal us. 🙏

 

By God’s Grace, something shifted.

As I mentioned earlier, wait a little longer for the right light or time .😍 

Yes! Ram made the bravest choice of his life. He chose to stop drinking — for us, for our home, for peace.

It was not easy. But he did it. I am proud of him,beyond words🤗🫶🏻And I thank God 🙏every day for giving him that strength. Ram saved us.

A wise man knows when to stop’’And he did.👍

 

When the alcohol left, the anger, the irritation softened.

And We began to listen, not just defend. Not just shout. 

And I saw him— the real Ram. A man with a clean, gentle heart. He wasn’t wrong. He was wounded. By time. By life. Not by nature. 

And he began to see me too. Truly see me.

 

God! sent angels to hold me up in those tough years. 

My son Shashank— my strength, my love, my understanding boy. 

Our families— my own family, and even my ex-in-laws who stood by me with so much love and support. 

And Ram’s family— his Amma, brother Shyam, didi Jenny and her family. 

None of them judged. They only loved.

 

My friends— the wives of Ram’s coursemates. They didn’t just become friends. They stood with me through every storm and never asked why. 

God bless each one of them. My heart is full of gratitude. 🙏❤️

 

You know, I learned this:

In your darkest hour, you see who your real family is. Who your real friends are.

The rest… they don’t matter. No matter their Name or Relation.

we must never forget those who held our hand when we were falling.

 

And , one more hard truth  life thought me— and it’s this-

In the end, no one can fight your battle for you. Not your family, not your friends, not even the people who love you most. 

They can stand beside you. They can hold your hand, wipe your tears, pray for you. And God bless them for that.

But the real war — the one inside your head, inside your heart — that war is yours alone. 

Your pain , your fear, your doubts… only you can face them. Only you can choose to get up one more time when life knocks you down. 

 

That’s the moral of my story😊 

Strength is not given. It’s chosen.

And once you choose it once your mind decides _I will not break- No storm. can sink you. 

And on that lonely road, if someone walks with you for a few steps — be grateful. But don’t wait at the door for them. Your demon, your dharma, your destiny… you must meet them yourself. 

That is what makes us human. That is what makes us Divine.🙏

 

Iam not preaching ,

It’s not a lecture. It’s my lived truth.

 

Today, our home is different. 🌼🌸🌺🤗 

We understand each other. The big, painful , hurtful fights are gone. 

Do we still disagree?Of course. What family doesn’t? Different minds will have different thoughts. Struggles yes.. !!there are and there will be…. That is life, Hai!! 

But now… there is room to breathe. There is peace in the air.

 

So how did the Bhagavad Gita walk into our life? 

You see,we were searching for three things: 

To know ourselves 

To heal completely 

To share what we learned, so our loved ones don’t have to bleed the way we did …..

 

That is why-we opened The Bhagavad Gita together.💐🙏

 

Every morning now

has a rhythm: 

At 4:30 am,

Ram wakes. He reads. He chants. He studies every shloka. He searches, he reflects, he goes deep. 

At 6:00 am , I join him. An d he becomes my teacher. He explains each chapter to me, slowly, patiently, in words my heart can hold. 

May God bless him for guiding me.

 

For us, the Bhagwat Gita is not just a scripture. 

It is a mirror — it shows us our true face, without judgment. 

It is medicine — it touches the places in us that still hurt. 

It is a map — the one we wish we had twenty years ago.

The  Bhagavad Gita is guidance for everyone …

Though Especially for the broken. The lost. The ones standing in the middle of life’s battlefield, confused and tired.

People like us.

It is the path that appears only when your soul is ready to walk it.

 

I write this-so I never forget. So I remember what Ram taught me. What life taught us. 

And if these words bring even one small light to someone sitting in their own darkness… then that is enough.

 

Destiny brought us here— not to punish, but to prepare. Not to break, but to rebuild.  😊😊

 

Now we both — Ram and I — are the charioteers of the Bhagavad Gita.

And yes ‘our journey started hereafter -🙏🌺🌸🌼

Jai Sri Krishna 🙏🌺

 

what is the Bhagavad Gita ?

The Bhagwat Gita is a guide From God.

The Song of God.🙏

It  has 18 chapters , 700-verses .

It’s a conversation between Arjuna the warrior, and Sri Krishna, his charioteer — right in the middle of a battlefield called ‘Kurukshetra’

 

But honestly…it’s not a book about war. 

It’s a book about life. It is a book of you-and me . About what to do when your heart is confused, when duty hurts, when love and dharma pull you in two directions. People like us.

So , Sri Krishna doesn’t teach Arjuna how to fight. He teaches him how to Live— with clarity, courage, and surrender. 

How does the Bhagwat Gita start?

Well, it doesn’t start with Krishna speaking. ..

It starts with fear, blindness, and confusion.

The first chapter is called

Arjuna Vishada Yoga — The Yoga of Arjuna’s Despair,Depression , Giving up hope….

So,Gita starts exactly where we all start — in doubt, in pain, on a battlefield of the mind. 

And who speaks first?

But Dhritarashtra — a blind king, asking about war. 

Because most of our problems start when we are blind to our own attachment.

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Chapter 1, verse-1 to 1:4.

We will walk through it together 🙏